The IDK Candidate and Aleppogate

  In the latest installment of Mostly Weekly we explore libertarian candidate Gary Johnson’s geography gaffe, wherein the governor didn’t know what “Aleppo” was. (I personally thought that a “leppo” was one of those buzzy things you get at a restaurant to let you know your table is ready, but apparently it’s a city in Syria.) Then, read more »

Scientists Create first “Space Nation”

This week an international consortium of scientists announced the creation of Asgardia, a new “space nation.” The idea behind it is to create a country (in space) which shoots down asteroids and space debris which might otherwise hurt Earth–even Oklahoma! The Asgardians have plans to put up a satellite in 2017 and, eventually, build space read more »

Iraq’s Transportation Minister Insists New Airport is Built on Ancient Alien Launchpad

Iraqi Transport Minister Kazem Finjan held a press conference this week to announce the site of a new airport; the suitability of the site, the high-quality facilities, and also that it’s built on the exact spot extraterrestrials constructed their own spaceship launchpad 7,000 years ago. Before we start questioning the “accuracy” or “sanity” of his statements, let’s at least read more »

Electronic Spoon Makes Food Taste Sweeter

A new invention called “The Tasty Buddy” emits a low-level electrical current that activates certain taste buds, so that your tongue perceives it to be varying levels or sweet or salty. This is a huge game changer, and I predict “smart spoons” will be the norm in homes within ten years. Think about the implications of read more »

Why American Trains Are So Slow

  I love trains and I think most folks do as well, so I was surprised to learn that we have slower and more expensive trains than we did in the 1930’s. Mobile phones used to be large gray bricks, but now I can fit six or seven of them in my pocket as I leave the gym every read more »

Toyota Unveils Robot Baby for Lonely People

We all know that sex robots are going to be at the forefront of anthropomorphic automatons, but Japan is adding something else: babies. It’s a big deal because Japan has the world’s oldest population, and it’s only getting older. Right now a quarter of all Japanese people are at least sixty years old. Not only are Japanese people read more »

Elon Musk and the Mission to Mars

The billionaire behind Tesla Motors is fully committed to getting mankind to Mars, and intends to die there himself (though not on impact). His ambitious plan involves building a BFR (literally “big fucking rocket”) that’s reusable for multiple trips. Rockets are presently single-use, which makes them vastly inefficient and costly. He plans to build a ship capable of transporting 100 people per load, read more »

Norwegian Prime Minister Caught Playing Pokemon Go in Parliament

Erna Solberg didn’t just get caught playing a cell phone game while her political opponent was speaking, she’s also been caught playing Pokemon Go in a defense hearing. (Although to her credit, Norway’s sovereign defense fund invests in Nintendo, so in a way she’s sort of helping the economy.) And, based on the fact that one of read more »

Swedes Urge NASA to Send Condoms into Space

Our Scandinavian friends over at the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education (note to self: ask for personalized tour of facilities on next trip to Europe) are urging NASA to include a pack of condoms in whatever rocket we next fire into orbit. This is because, obviously, if aliens ever swing by Earth and decide to read more »

Scientist Develops Alcohol Substitute, Cure for Hangovers

I am highly intrigued by Dr. David Nutt, who has developed a chemical substitute for alcohol that mimics being tipsy without any of the nasty side effects: hangovers, bar fights, paternity lawsuits, and so forth. His chemical compound releases some of the dopamine (happy brain juice) we normally get from alcohol, and also looses you up the way a pint read more »

Pandas Are No Longer Endangered

By far the single most-read blog post I have ever cranked out is “Pandas Are Dumb,” in which I make the argument that pandas, while adorable, are pretty much an evolutionary dead end. If humans weren’t pushing them around, their species is so unfathomably stupid that something else (like dolphins or possibly even clever rocks) would instead. I still get read more »

None of the Above Option

I use Lovecraftian monsters and a dead gorilla in this episode of Mostly Weekly to illustrate why every ballot in America should have “None of the Above” listed as a candidate. We didn’t have time to include the last Staten Island congressional election in the video, although it’s a perfect example of when a None Of The Above option would have read more »

Man Arrested for Trying to Ride a Manatee

Where, exactly, does the human impulse to ride animals come from? Think about that for a second. At some point in human history our paleolithic ancestors were wandering around the Serengeti with pointy sticks, some sort of giant proto-horse galloped by, and a guy said, “You see that big animal? I’m gonna sit on that.” That was crazy. Today read more »

FDA Launches App Competition for Opioid Addiction

I’m not normally a big fan of the Food and Drug Administration. If you’re an FDA bureaucrat and you’re told there’s a promising new drug that might cure a disease, but there’s a small chance people will die from side effects, you have more personal incentive to veto it than approve it. (No one is going to read more »

Scientists Teleport a Photon Six Kilometers

We now must ask ourselves: if scientists can teleport stuff in kilometers, could they someday teleport stuff in miles? There’s no way of knowing, but my gut tells me: yes. Also apparently in physics there’s a term called “spooky action at a distance” (I’m guessing they let somebody’s intern name that one) which yields all sorts of read more »

Apparently Dolphins Can Actually Talk

We already knew dolphins were really smart, and we knew they communicated. This isn’t abnormal with intelligent animals–monkeys make specific noises to alert their buddies if they’re frightened, if they’re angry, or if they see food. What scientists have discovered is that dolphins have multi-word conversations between individuals. They have dialogues. The clicks and whistles are words, read more »

Bank of America Analysts Say we May Be Living in a Computer Simulation

Top analysts at Bank of America’s Merril Lynch say there’s a 50% chance we’re living in a computer simulation. (This is interesting in and of itself. Why are bankers and finance guys the ones tackling this issue? I don’t see a lot of overlap between interest rates and the Matrix.) Here’s the crux: we’re getting read more »

A Dozen Eggs Cost $150 in (Socialist) Venezuela

One of the horrors Bernie Sanders unleashed on America during his campaign is screwing up the definition of “socialism” for an entire generation of college students. Socialism is the public ownership of the means of production. Unfortunately now whole swaths of rank-and-file Bern victims think socialism means “cute Nordic countries.” Sweden and Denmark have high taxes read more »

Researchers Name New Parasite after Barrack Obama

I assume you, like me, regularly peruse the Journal of Parisitology (for the centerfolds). If you missed the latest issue, a researcher named Thomas R. Platt has named a new parasite Baracktrema obamai. When I read the headline I assumed that Platt knew enough about politicians to start naming useless bloodsuckers after them, but it turns read more »

Lions Are Invading Kenyan Suburbs

It’s official: Kenya’s suburbs are way, way more interesting than America’s. Recently homes and crummy malls have sprouted up on the south (unfenced) side of Nairobi National Park, and it turns out that lions are completely undeterred by zoning laws. They’ll sneak through Maasai Village at night to eat goats and cows, and occasionally sharpen read more »