Tag Archives: Roommates

Stateside Once More

I’ve successfully returned to the New World without being stopped by Interpol or getting “inceptioned.” After a couple of phone calls and a playful death threat, I have wrested control of my blog from Evil Roommate Jim. Later this week my cartoonery and pithy writing will commence as per usual, along with an upcoming video read more »

Jim Post: I am a great roommate

Hey readers, Jim here. Heaton gave me his prorated rent before he left for Scotland. I figured since he was planning his move to New York, I should help him out. Here’s what I did with his rent check: So, I reached out to a self-storage place and signed a contract for Heaton. They were read more »

Jim Post: The Other Side of the Prank War

“You are a patient, patient man. That is what I fear most about you, Jim.” – Andrew Heaton OK, readers. Andrew’s room mate Jim back again for the second of four posts to keep you occupied until your dear leader emerges from his Scottish Secret Bunker to dominate the internets with his libertarian humor. Last read more »

Jim Post: Living with Mighty Heaton

Dear Reader of MightyHeaton.com — I am Jim Swift, Heaton’s roommate. Since Heaton has gone back to be funny in his ancestral dreamland, he asked me to come up with a few posts for you all to read until he comes back. And boy, do I have some doozies for you. We’ll start off slow read more »

Angry Roommate

I don’t seem why my roommate got so bent up out of shape about me redecorating his room while he was out of town. This poster of me is far more inspirational than the sports paraphernalia I chucked out. &nbspAndrew Heaton is a writer and standup comedian in New York City. If this post made read more »

While Unattended in Your House

Between my Eagle Scout award and total adolescent sobriety, adults in high school generally considered me responsible, often to the point of entrusting me with important things like their houses or daughters. This lead to house sitting, which has in turn spawned a number of life-long hobbies I amuse myself with when unattended in other read more »

Moral Support

Last week I got bummed out because I met a girl who reads The Economist and then totally blew it. My flatmates and I watched Happy Gilmore and I might have enjoyed an adult beverage.   &nbspAndrew Heaton is a writer and standup comedian in New York City. If this post made you laugh or read more »

Get Well Soon

Kate fell ill one time and felt so terrible that she couldn’t make me snacks or tea or anything for an entire week. I made her this picture to remind her that she is special and her absence would be felt by the flat if she succumbed to her deadly cold. The robot in the read more »

Sorry I Ditched You

Kate and I have a mutual friend named Lt. Iain who was recently assigned to a position in Kentucky. We went to his party to be supportive of our friend, but then I remembered that our flatmate Ben had a party with a bunch more girls at it so I left. Lt. Iain was fine read more »

Passive Aggressive Bacteria Note

Ben enjoys cooking but for some reason will leave half-eaten meals out for days on end. Are these for me? I’m not sure. The rule I follow is, “If it’s in plain site, Ben probably made it for me.” One time Ben made pot roast and left the meat out for three solid days. I read more »