Tag Archives: Law

Italy’s Supreme Court Rules Public Masturbation is Not a Crime

The headline pretty much sums up this story. It’s not surprising that Italy already had public decency laws on the books—most countries have laws designed to protect children from perverts. And herein lies the law: La Corte di Cassazione ruled that pleasuring oneself in public is fine, so long as there are no minors present. read more »

Do Lesbians Cause Tornadoes?

My state’s constitution seems to contain a provision requiring that once every two years we must pass a bill which dazzles the entire country in its glittering, bejeweled stupidity. Not all of them are bad. I rather like the absurd ones. For instance, it is illegal to go whale hunting in Oklahoma. That law is read more »

Westlaw Policies, I Defy Thee!

My friend Sara is studying to become a lawyer. Recently I asked her if she wouldn’t mind sending me a copy of  the landmark Citizens United case. She did, but stipulated in the e-mail that it was “for educational purposes only.” Below herewith please find my response. &nbspAndrew Heaton is a writer and standup comedian read more »

The Highest Court in the Land

We speculated as to whether or not the fireplace behind the podium might spontaneously burst into flame when Justice Scalia entered, along with a few alternate theories involving trumpets. The other interns chattered nervously in the looming sobriety of the Red Chamber, adorned with wood paneling and portraits of Chief Justices deceased. On my left, read more »