“Stay at Home Stepdad”

  In retrospect I don’t think we’re likely to get this particular sitcom picked up by a major network, even though we added a laugh track in for the mouthbreathers. J. M. Jennings came up with the concept for it, I wrote the script, and Andrew Young both directed the piece and also tweaked the read more »

The Republican National Convention

  It’s the RNC, with a star studded list of people who WONT be attending! Donald Trump, the PT Barnum of American politics has chosen as his running mate, noted human tube sock and Indiana governor Mike Pence. How did it all come to this? WATCH OR I WILL STRANGLE THIS POKEMON WITH A HAMMER. read more »

TSA Emotional Support Horses

  TSA, employing sexual predators to gently cup you since 2001. And this summer- expect longer lines and cuppier cupping than ever! Jeh Johnson, director of Homeland Security and a man who has given up on his own first name, is trying to get more people to join TSA Precheck. But now the program is read more »

The Brexitpocalypse

  I’ve got a mixed view on the Brexit. On an emotional level I get it, and am on the side of the Brexiters. The European Union has a major democratic deficit, and it’s run by a bunch of un-elected bureaucrats who foist regulations and red tape over an entire continent. But pragmatically, were I read more »

A License to Kill . . . And blowdry hair

  There are licenses for almost every occupation! From music therapists to morticians! And these needless licenses mostly hurt the poor. But what about white collar jobs? Should lawyers have to pass the bar? Getting sued is expensive! And we get sued a lot! Please don’t sue us. Please. Slimming down the amount of occupational read more »

Uberdunger: Deodorant for Men

  If you’re like most weak, smelly homo sapiens, your armpits smell bad and make people hate you. You could go out and buy some sort of flowery antiperspirant, and waste money on aerosol with some sparkles in it. OR you could buy Uberdunger’s Deodorant For Men. Watch this video find out Uberdunger’s secret ingredient, which read more »

What If People Acted Like Cats

  I’ll say it: I’m a dog person. I like that dogs seem genuinely excited to see me. Whereas cats seem like they’re at best vaguely irritated and at worst openly thinking about how to fit my head inside of their mouths. That said, I’ve noticed that barn cats are pretty cool. When they get read more »

Transbathrooms

  In the latest episode of Mostly Weekly, we explore North Carolina’s recent spate of bathroom laws. If you haven’t been following this, good: it’s rare for even legislatures to waste so much time and effort on such a nonsensical issue. For that reason we don’t go into too many specifics, and mostly just lampoon the read more »

Controversial Study Aims to “Reanimate” the Brain Dead

We’re a long way from bringing dead people back to life, although the science of brain death is fascinating. A hundred years ago if your heart stopped, you were dead. Period. Then we realized we could jump-start hearts with CPR, and later using those nifty shock panels. Death isn’t a hard line. Brains are similar, read more »

Company Building a Real-Life Babel Fish

If you’re like me you spent a significant portion of time in high school reading Douglas Adams and watching Star Trek instead of losing your virginity. Both of them have concepts of a universal translator, wherein you could walk into any foreign country (or planet) and effortlessly communicate with the inhabitants. This September a company read more »

Canada Develops Eagle Beer-Delivery System

Our friends in the Deep North have out-Americaned us again, folks. A raptor center in Vancouver has teamed up with a local brewery for a mind-blowingly amazing contest. Whoever wins will have an Eagle named Hercules fly into downtown Vancouver and deliver them a can of beer. This, in my opinion, significantly outpaces whatever leaps read more »

Facebook Censorship

  How do Facebook’s meat computers or “humans” decide what’s trending? Does Facebook lean Liberal? It *is* blue, someone else pays for it, and I’m pretty sure FarmVille is some kind of a Kibbutz. And “likes” are an inflated currency that people feel entitled to! (PLEASE LIKE OUR VIDEO AND SHARE!!!!!!) &nbspAndrew Heaton is a writer read more »

Tea Time (And Genocide)

  I grew up watching whatever bootlegged British programs our local PBS station managed to ferret in to Sunday night lineups. Crisp, eloquent possible-lords addressed the camera in many of these shows, all sopping wet with respectability. So I wrote a sketch which portrays the dark underbelly of such hosts, who might nominally care about read more »

Common Mythconceptions

This is a cool infographic about frequent erroneous beliefs which linger on in our collective memory. For example, you can’t see the Great Wall of China from space (think about it–it’s the same width as a highway. Can you see I-35 from space?) and Napoleon wasn’t short (by the standards of his day he was average). And read more »

Queen Elizabeth Takes Member of Parliament Hostage

This week Queen Elizabeth II gave her annual address to Parliament. The speech is written for her by the Tories or whoever happens to be in power, and she tells Parliament what they were already planning to do. Only with tremendous pomp. Far more than our own State of the Union Address. Because of the historic read more »

Uberdunger: The Warlord of Fertilizers

  Product spokesman John Chuck triumphantly returns to promote Uberdunger Fertilizer for Men, the gardening accessory you need to bring your fruits and vegetables into unambiguous submission to your green thumb and iron will. This was an interesting shoot because it involved me waving an apparent hand grenade in my backyard while my landlord watched me in read more »

NASA Invests in Cryogenic Sleep Chamber

NASA has greenlighted several super futuristic research and development proposals in hopes of aiding our eventual trip to Mars. This includes among other things cryogenic chambers—like in Interstellar—wherein astronauts would be fed intravenously for nine months while their body temperature rests at ten degrees Fahrenheit. I’d be curious as to if you would be dreaming read more »

King George V Died of Intentional Morphine/Cocaine Overdose

Okay, so this is apparently old news–the folks over at the New York Times unearthed this gem back in the eighties. But it’s new to me. In 1936 the doctor of King George V of Great Britain administered an intentionally lethal dose of cocaine and morphine to the monarch as he lay on his death bed. This was read more »

The Ex-Im Bank

  One of my hobbies is to camp out in a nice pub, have a few whiskies, then start ranting to strangers about obscure government programs I hate. (I would like to apologize to the proprietor’s of Opie’s Ale House for that time I tried to throw a chair through the window while discussing the Farm read more »

China Bans Un-Patriotic Sound Effects and Gays on Television

What I want to know is, what constitutes “un-patriotic sound effects”? That seems very specific and very ambiguous at the same time. The followup question is, which commie commissar is put in charge of patriotic sound effect quality control? If the Chinese ever take over, I want that guy’s job. Learn More: “China Bans Un-Patriotic Sound read more »