There Will Be Self-Driving Apartments

This week Business Insider predicted that there will be ten million self-driving cars by the end of this decade. That sounds ambitious, but their estimates include vehicles which are mostly automated but still require a person behind the wheel. Regardless, I would be surprised if my own unborn children ever need to learn to drive read more »

Is Kim Kardashian Advertising or Not?

Apparently there is growing concern at the Federal Trade Commission about celebrities promoting goods and services via social media. If Kim Kardashian receives comped nights at a tony Airbnb apartment, and Instagrams how great the company is, should she include #ad to let hapless consumers know her torrent of social media may be self-interested? It’s a situation which read more »

Sir Nils the Penguin is Promoted to Brigadier

Some years ago the King of Norway loaned a penguin to the Edinburgh Zoo and, for kicks, also knighted him. Now whenever King Harald V swings by to visit Scotland on vacation, he promotes the damned bird again. Over the years Sir Nils Olav has gone from a knight to a personal member of the kings guard. read more »

A New “Smart Beer” Contains a Microchip in the Glass

An Israeli tech company called Glassify has invented a pint glass with a microchip in it. From what I can tell they’re basically looking to extend the idea of frequent flyer miles to drinking. Patrons can scan each glass of beer they guzzle, which then accrues points and presumably coupons or a free beer in read more »

Pakistan’s Largest City to be Run by Imprisoned Mayor

Karachi is Pakistan’s largest city, and the guy it’s about to elect ran afoul of the military regime which runs the country. So he’ll be democratically elected as mayor, but will do so from prison, where he’s serving a sentence for any number of charges. To put this in perspective, Karachi has twenty million people. read more »

The Olympics: A Soberly Objective Review

  Mostly Weekly returns with a 2016 Olympic Wrap Up, including some issues I don’t feel the media adequately covered. Even in this latest Pulitzer-worthy piece, I wasn’t able to cram in all of the fascinating stuff I learned about the Olympics. For example, apparently the “country” of Monaco had three Olympic participants this year! (Normally they read more »

How Far a Buck Goes in Every State

The Tax Foundation calculated how far a dollar goes in every U.S. state based on factors like food and housing. It turns out (and this will shock you) that it’s way more expensive to live in New York, where I voluntarily dwell for some reason, than in Oklahoma, where everyone smiles a lot and owns read more »

Space Travel Screws up Astronauts’ Eyesight

We’re all clamoring to get into zero-g to hang out with cosmonauts and Kate Upton. But did you know interstellar travel hurts your peepers? Apparently so. Astronaut John Phillips went up to the International Space Station with 20/20 vision but came back to Earth unable to focus clearly. The back of his eyes got flatter, read more »

Japan’s Emperor Wants to Abdicate; May Not Be Able To

Japan’s Emperor Akihito has hinted at wanting to abdicate (the royal version of retiring, except with more money and less Florida), but it turns out he may not be able to. The Japanese constitution has no legal mechanism by which an emperor can abdicate. This isn’t some frilly quirk of history quite like our European friends, read more »

“Stay at Home Stepdad”

  In retrospect I don’t think we’re likely to get this particular sitcom picked up by a major network, even though we added a laugh track in for the mouthbreathers. J. M. Jennings came up with the concept for it, I wrote the script, and Andrew Young both directed the piece and also tweaked the read more »

The Republican National Convention

  It’s the RNC, with a star studded list of people who WONT be attending! Donald Trump, the PT Barnum of American politics has chosen as his running mate, noted human tube sock and Indiana governor Mike Pence. How did it all come to this? WATCH OR I WILL STRANGLE THIS POKEMON WITH A HAMMER. read more »

TSA Emotional Support Horses

  TSA, employing sexual predators to gently cup you since 2001. And this summer- expect longer lines and cuppier cupping than ever! Jeh Johnson, director of Homeland Security and a man who has given up on his own first name, is trying to get more people to join TSA Precheck. But now the program is read more »

The Brexitpocalypse

  I’ve got a mixed view on the Brexit. On an emotional level I get it, and am on the side of the Brexiters. The European Union has a major democratic deficit, and it’s run by a bunch of un-elected bureaucrats who foist regulations and red tape over an entire continent. But pragmatically, were I read more »

A License to Kill . . . And blowdry hair

  There are licenses for almost every occupation! From music therapists to morticians! And these needless licenses mostly hurt the poor. But what about white collar jobs? Should lawyers have to pass the bar? Getting sued is expensive! And we get sued a lot! Please don’t sue us. Please. Slimming down the amount of occupational read more »

Uberdunger: Deodorant for Men

  If you’re like most weak, smelly homo sapiens, your armpits smell bad and make people hate you. You could go out and buy some sort of flowery antiperspirant, and waste money on aerosol with some sparkles in it. OR you could buy Uberdunger’s Deodorant For Men. Watch this video find out Uberdunger’s secret ingredient, which read more »

What If People Acted Like Cats

  I’ll say it: I’m a dog person. I like that dogs seem genuinely excited to see me. Whereas cats seem like they’re at best vaguely irritated and at worst openly thinking about how to fit my head inside of their mouths. That said, I’ve noticed that barn cats are pretty cool. When they get read more »

Transbathrooms

  In the latest episode of Mostly Weekly, we explore North Carolina’s recent spate of bathroom laws. If you haven’t been following this, good: it’s rare for even legislatures to waste so much time and effort on such a nonsensical issue. For that reason we don’t go into too many specifics, and mostly just lampoon the read more »

Controversial Study Aims to “Reanimate” the Brain Dead

We’re a long way from bringing dead people back to life, although the science of brain death is fascinating. A hundred years ago if your heart stopped, you were dead. Period. Then we realized we could jump-start hearts with CPR, and later using those nifty shock panels. Death isn’t a hard line. Brains are similar, read more »

Company Building a Real-Life Babel Fish

If you’re like me you spent a significant portion of time in high school reading Douglas Adams and watching Star Trek instead of losing your virginity. Both of them have concepts of a universal translator, wherein you could walk into any foreign country (or planet) and effortlessly communicate with the inhabitants. This September a company read more »

Canada Develops Eagle Beer-Delivery System

Our friends in the Deep North have out-Americaned us again, folks. A raptor center in Vancouver has teamed up with a local brewery for a mind-blowingly amazing contest. Whoever wins will have an Eagle named Hercules fly into downtown Vancouver and deliver them a can of beer. This, in my opinion, significantly outpaces whatever leaps read more »