Category Archives: Politics

Political Satire ostensibly in the vein of P. J. O’Rourke.

The Republican National Convention

  It’s the RNC, with a star studded list of people who WONT be attending! Donald Trump, the PT Barnum of American politics has chosen as his running mate, noted human tube sock and Indiana governor Mike Pence. How did it all come to this? WATCH OR I WILL STRANGLE THIS POKEMON WITH A HAMMER. read more »

TSA Emotional Support Horses

  TSA, employing sexual predators to gently cup you since 2001. And this summer- expect longer lines and cuppier cupping than ever! Jeh Johnson, director of Homeland Security and a man who has given up on his own first name, is trying to get more people to join TSA Precheck. But now the program is read more »

The Brexitpocalypse

  I’ve got a mixed view on the Brexit. On an emotional level I get it, and am on the side of the Brexiters. The European Union has a major democratic deficit, and it’s run by a bunch of un-elected bureaucrats who foist regulations and red tape over an entire continent. But pragmatically, were I read more »

A License to Kill . . . And blowdry hair

  There are licenses for almost every occupation! From music therapists to morticians! And these needless licenses mostly hurt the poor. But what about white collar jobs? Should lawyers have to pass the bar? Getting sued is expensive! And we get sued a lot! Please don’t sue us. Please. Slimming down the amount of occupational read more »

Transbathrooms

  In the latest episode of Mostly Weekly, we explore North Carolina’s recent spate of bathroom laws. If you haven’t been following this, good: it’s rare for even legislatures to waste so much time and effort on such a nonsensical issue. For that reason we don’t go into too many specifics, and mostly just lampoon the read more »

Facebook Censorship

  How do Facebook’s meat computers or “humans” decide what’s trending? Does Facebook lean Liberal? It *is* blue, someone else pays for it, and I’m pretty sure FarmVille is some kind of a Kibbutz. And “likes” are an inflated currency that people feel entitled to! (PLEASE LIKE OUR VIDEO AND SHARE!!!!!!) &nbspAndrew Heaton is a writer read more »

The Ex-Im Bank

  One of my hobbies is to camp out in a nice pub, have a few whiskies, then start ranting to strangers about obscure government programs I hate. (I would like to apologize to the proprietor’s of Opie’s Ale House for that time I tried to throw a chair through the window while discussing the Farm read more »

The Politics of Mordor

  How Hillary won over Sauromon the Progressive, Bernie lost the Hobbit vote, and Trump disappointed blue collar orcs. You’ll recall that Mordor is both a battleground state and a “bellweather” in six of the last ten presidential elections, so who people vote for is a good preview of the general election in November. (The read more »

Vigorously Judicial: Who is Merrick Garland?

  Between Trump antics and Prince dying, you may have forgotten that Justice Scalia’s seat in the Supreme Court is still vacant. Recently President Obama nominated Merrick Garland to that spot, who in any other year Republicans would be so thrilled about they’d confirm him during a rapid-fire lunch break. For a Democratic nominee he’s read more »

WTF Are Superdelegates?

  As Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton slug it out to determine the epic battle of When Bernie Sanders Concedes to Hillary Clinton, you may have heard of “superdelegates.” These are unelected party insiders in the Democratic Party who get to vote in the primary, whereas regular delegates represent constituents who voted for a particular read more »

Frank Underwood Does Not Know how to Play Chess

  “House of Cards” is basically political pornography. I got into it (before it was cool), circa 2012. I’d finish a long day of working in Congress getting screamed at by elderly constituents, then head home to a nice whisky and an episode of the original BBC version. Shortly before leaving Washington, DC for New York read more »

Libertarian Star Wars Parody

Reason TV recently invited me to collaborate on “Libertarian Star Wars,” a parody which fuses libertarian tropes, the antics of Rand Paul, and (my personal favorite) a tie-in to the PBS special “Free to Choose” by Milton Friedman with the blockbuster film epics of George Lucas. Meredith and Austin Bragg wrote it with me and read more »

Why, exactly, Lincoln Chafee?

From his meteoric presidential launch endorsing the metric system to his most recent TED Talks-style performance in the Democratic presidential debate, we follow Rhode Island’s answer to the question none of us asked, and the ultimate conclusion that this is a ruse for a different, colder office. Update: Since this post, Lincoln Chafee’s donors turned read more »

Dog and twin mayors in Minnesota

In Minnesota democracy is running amok, electing toddlers and dogs for mayor. Can they compete with full-grown adult mayors, like in Pennsylvania, where a former mayor is being charged for, among other things, using tax dollars on vampire kits? I suggest that, in general, ceremonial mayors who are cute/and or household pets may be a read more »

TRUMPDATE: Donald In the Lead

Despite having insulted the entire nation of Mexico, as well as John McCain’s war record, Donald Trump is presently leading the pack of Republican presidential hopefuls. Not only have I unearthed old footage of Donald Trump’s 1989 board game “Trump the Game,” I’ll also explain why he’s the lead GOP presidential contender, and what he’s read more »

State of the Week: A Monumental Fight

This week Oklahoma removed a Ten Commandments monument from the lawn of the state capitol. I’ve got nothing against Ten Commandment monuments, but I do have a problem with violating the separation of Church and State. Fortunately, in this instance, all sorts of hilarity ensued leading up to the removal, including a typo etched into read more »

Game of Loans: Greek Debt Crisis

Greece is having a debt crisis. Again. Europe has loaned it a lot of money, and now, astonishingly, wants them to figure out ways to pay them back. In this video I come up with several excellent fiscal solutions, such as cutting spending, or disguising their entire country as Belgium to thwart creditors. Why no read more »

Boston’s Stupid Government

The first thing you should know about Boston is that its State House, the capital of the entire state of Massachusetts, contains a thing called “the Sacred Cod.” The Sacred Cod is a large fish suspended within its House of Representatives, which is legally or at least traditionally necessary in order for their House to read more »

Laughter is Better Than Communism

My book of political satire and cartoons is now available in ebook form, so you should download it to correct all of the half-baked propaganda you absorbed in college. I originally launched my collection of essays and cartoons in July, to uproarious laughter and critical delight. But several readers emailed me asking about an ebook read more »

The Unseen Value of Rob Ford

Rob Ford, crack-smoking mayor of Toronto, is catching a lot of heat for his continued boozing, drug use, and sexual harassment. So much so that Americans are actually paying attention to Canadian news for the first time in our nation’s history. Even Canadians are! This is truly astounding, because as a rule Canadian politicians are so read more »