Category Archives: Politics

Political Satire ostensibly in the vein of P. J. O’Rourke.

Everyone You Love Did Drugs

It turns out that a lot of accomplished, well-respected historical figures did drugs. From Winston Churchill taking amphetamines to Thomas Edison lacing his wine with cocaine, not everyone who uses narcotics is a hopeless basket case living in a dumpster. While some drug users spiral into addiction and crime, others go on to become president. It’s time to debunk read more »

Congressional New Year’s Resolutions

  As 2017 thankfully limps to its conclusion, we turn our sights to 2018 and ways in which Congress can be less awful. In this special holiday edition of “Mostly Weekly” Andrew Heaton comes up with some out-of-the-box ideas for our legislators: Find out what’s inside the stuff they vote on Quit hemorrhaging money like a drunken sailor Balance read more »

We’re Spending Too Much on Defense

  How many killy things do we need before our country is safe from invasion? The United States defense budget is enormous–it’s larger than the next eight largest countries combined, most of which we’re buddies with. But military spending is only partially designed around our protection. A significant portion of America’s defense tab is caught up in read more »

13 Non-Pedophile Reason to Hate Roy Moore

  Even if you disregard the nine women accusing Roy Moore of sexual assault, there are plenty of reasons to despise him. Judicial incompetence, constitutional ignorance, and industrial strength bigotry are just some of the issues with the Alabama judge. In the latest Mostly Weekly Andrew Heaton covers some of the many reasons why Roy Moore sucks: He taught a class discouraging women read more »

Legalize Medically-Assisted Sex

  Nine out of 10 doctors agree sex is good for you, or at least better for you than smoking. But what happens if you have a disability that makes it difficult to engage in sex, or find a sexual partner in the first place? Enter sex surrogates, professionals who help the disabled work through their read more »

Desperate Mayors Compete for Amazon HQ2

You can almost see trails of drool spreading out from towns across America as local leaders feverishly hope to snag the second Amazon headquarters. In the latest Reason video I team up with comic geniuses Austin Bragg (opposite me) and Meredith Bragg (off camera) to highlight the absurdity of tax breaks through two sociopathic mayors. In my case, read more »

How Sugar Subsidies Ruin Halloween

  This Halloween while you’re getting pudgy from candy, crony capitalists are getting rich off of sugar subsidies. The system is rigged through price controls, subsidies, and tariffs, all designed to protect the sugar industry from competition–and basic math. In the latest “Mostly Weekly” Andrew Heaton tears into the Willy Wonkas gaming the system, and read more »

Why the Lights Are Still Off in Puerto Rico

  Regardless of how the president and FEMA have responded, Puerto Rico was set up for disaster well before Hurricane Maria hit. Yo-yo tax breaks, needlessly expensive imports, and crippling debt all lead to a shoddy infrastruture that’s still without power on much of the island. On the latest “Mostly Weekly,” Andrew Heaton explores: how read more »

Why We Should Privatize the Postal Service

  I don’t think Hell exists, but if it does, I’m pretty sure it involves standing in line for stamps at a post office. We explore why the Postal Service is so terrible, and how to fix it, in the latest Mostly Weekly. Did you know the Post Office once tried to deliver mail by read more »

Our Amazing Debt (Cosmos Parodoy)

  In preparation for Reason’s latest parody video I’ve spent a lot of time trying to grasp just how ginormous twenty trillion dollars actually is. Some of the (mathematically questionable) analogies I came up with, but scrapped are:  If you listened to “Tiny Dancer” by Elton John twenty trillion times, it would last longer than the universe read more »

Minimum Wage: Bad for Humans, Good for Robots

  Some of America’s largest cities are ratcheting minimum wage up, while progressive luminaries are calling to raise the federal minimum wage to $15 an hour. Only evil people would oppose this, right? Unless…That’s what the robots want us to think? When the government uses minimum wage laws to abolish cheap labor, it makes employees more expensive. read more »

Stop Subsidizing Sports!

  Let’s talk about “sports”—that thing where we gather around to watch a muscular stranger put a regulation-size ball in a specific location. Why are taxpayers forced to pony up cash for athletic ventures that don’t benefit them? Franchise owners routinely extort massive stadium subsidies through threats of relocation and fake promises of economic revitalization. read more »

What to do With Your Embarrassing Confederate Statue

So you’ve got an old Confederate statue you need to toss out. Don’t worry, many cities in America are going through the same spring cleaning you are. The relevant question is: what do you do with a marble effigy of an old bearded racist once you’ve knocked it off its pedestal? The main argument against read more »

How to Stop Patent Trolls

  It’s been a bad year for patent trolls, from a Supreme Court decision squelching their ability to funnel lawsuits to East Texas to this week’s ruling that Personal Audio LLC can’t claim it owns a patent on the entirety of podcasting. In the latest Mostly Weekly, Reason’s Andrew Heaton explores what patent trolls are, the damage they do, read more »

Science: Power Causes Brain Damage

A spate of recent articles corroborate what I already suspected, that holding elected office is the neurological equivalent of getting kicked in the head by a donkey. “Subjects under the influence of power,” Dacher Keltner, a professor at University of California, Berkeley found, “acted as if they had suffered a traumatic brain injury—becoming more impulsive, less risk-aware, and, read more »

Game of Thrones: The Libertarian Edition

  As HBO’s blockbuster series Game of Thrones returns for its seventh season, Reason offers its own freedom-filled parody. A libertarian paradise north of the wall? What’s happened to Westeros’ social security trust fund? Should it take low-income Dothraki four years to get a hair-braiding license? Watch! Written and produced by Austin Bragg, Meredith Bragg, read more »

The War on Interns

It’s intern season, but many aspiring students aren’t able to get internships—because a lot of them are illegal. Federal law restricts companies from hiring unpaid interns if they’re performing actual useful duties, which means it’s harder for workers to get a foot in the door. In the latest Mostly Weekly Andrew Heaton proposes that consenting adults should be read more »

Why Society Hates Entrepreneurs

We’re fickle about entrepreneurs, at least if they actually become successful. Whether or not they add value to society is beside the point. When they’re handsome and charismatic entrepreneurs are “innovators” and “game changers.” They get invited to sex parties in Davos. If they’re homely or awkward, they are merely wealthy drivers of inequality, and read more »

Trump’s Cuba Crackdown

  President Trump is rolling back some of his predecessor’s Cuban policy reforms, potentially setting back important American relations with cigars and rum. In 2014 President Obama restored diplomatic relations with communist Cuba, re-opening the U.S. embassy on the island nation and lifting some travel and financial restrictions. This month Trump announced he was “canceling the last administration’s read more »

The Government Hates Boobs

You’re going to be surprised by this, but there’s actually a decent amount of overlap between government bureaucrats and breasts. We cover that and more on the latest episode of Mostly Weekly. Frankly I’m a little astonished that I didn’t tackle the issue sooner, given the tremendous amount of thought I’ve independently put into either category. It’s read more »