Government Birth Control


Apparently ladies can’t get birth control without a doctor’s prescription (unless they pull a pharmacy heist, or make their own). This strikes me as a bizarre regulatory hurdle; as a guy, I can buy condoms at pharmacies or gas stations without incident when it’s time for my quarterly sex. Even some disreputable bars I visit pass them out for free in a large bowl next to the bathroom. Ladies, on the other hand, must schedule an appointment with their doctor and then gain written permission for prophylactics.


It’s my suspicion that, historically, laws requiring women to obtain birth control prescriptions originated in the 1960’s from stuffy congressmen alarmed at the prospects of a libidinous female population unleashed by “the pill.” Now the nominal idea behind birth control prescription mandates is to ensure that a medical professional stops uneducated women from gobbling birth control pills like Tic Tacs, or ingesting them all in one day to make up for skipping a week. I don’t know a single woman who needs that type of base-level warning, and suspect that legitimate questions about side effects could be handled by a pharmacist.


Fortunately some states are deputizing pharmacists to write birth control prescriptions on-site, allowing ladies to skip a doctor’s appointment. Hopefully more will follow suit.


Starring Andrew Heaton
Written by Sarah Rose Siskind with help from Andrew Heaton, David Fried, and Johnny DiNapoli
Edited by Sarah Rose Siskind


 Andrew Heaton is a writer and standup comedian in New York City. If this post made you laugh or think, kindly "like" it on Facebook.

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