Why Men Often Think Woman are Crazy

My opinion on genders is that both of them are pretty stupid. If aliens came down to Earth, I would probably stress how little I have to do with either of humanity’s genders and try to secure myself some sort of position as a house pet.

Thus I do not feel any major kinship with men by virtue of the fact that they have similar (but smaller) genitals to myself. If I were assembling a guitar band or crack team of ninjas or whathaveyou, “ability to pee standing up” ranks pretty low on my list. I choose friends based on utility rather than gender. What can this person do for ME? What can they provide ME? This is how rational people think.

However many men assume that all women are crazy, when in reality it turns out that most of our species is crazy, but it just so happens that statistically about half are women. Allow me to explore one or two of the reasons why men often write off women as unbalanced.

One major aspect of misogyny comes from a lurking double standard. If a man acts psychopathic, men around him think, “Gee, Bob is nuts.” Whereas if a woman acts like a lunatic, guys think, “All women are nuts.”

Men assess men as individuals. However they often project one woman’s actions onto their entire gender.

To put this in perspective, Ted Kazinsky is in the male mind “an outlier.” Whereas a single hysterical woman in line at the grocery store might very well become an unwitting vaginal ambassador to the men around her.

Another tendency is that of microcosm and macrocosm when it comes to assessing craziness. For men it’s a lot easier to spot insanity on a person-by-person level. But we’re clearly awful at it when it comes to eyeballing delirium en masse.

For instance, we are utterly baffled by the fact that we can agree to leave the house for dinner at 6:00, and the girlfriend will still be assembling war paint and coordinating which stilettos best match her Kindle at 6:28. This breach of punctuality strikes us as clear evidence of a mental disorder.

YET. Men see no logical problem whatsoever with organizing thousands upon thousands of men to go across oceans and shoot other guys in the head over things like who controls Belgium or fossilized dinosaur juice. We don’t event question it. Think about the billions of dollars we hobble together just to blow shit up.

The sheer absurdity of this waste is lost on men all across the planet, with the possible exception of Dennis Kucinich. Male insanity is insanity writ large. Put two hundred dudes in a room and we will concoct the most senseless plan imaginable, replete with tanks, flamethrowers and attempts to play golf on the moon.

My opinion overall is that men and women are both usually dumb and you should assess them individually. That’s how I plan to get my gig as a house pet when the aliens come.

Good luck in the salt mines.

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  • Teresa
    June 7, 2012 - 10:45 am | Permalink

    You don’t actually like me?! You just USE me for what you can get out of me like fun pictures and pr advice and shit…

    Our whole friendship is a lie.

    • Richard Lemin
      June 7, 2012 - 11:11 am | Permalink

      Miss Teresa: He’s a MAN… why does this surprise you?

      • Teresa
        June 7, 2012 - 11:19 am | Permalink

        awww… RIchard talks some sense.

      • Heaton
        June 7, 2012 - 3:14 pm | Permalink

        Mr. Lemin — I like to think of myself as a sort of “third party” gender option. Homo Superior, as opposed to Homo Sapien.

        • Whiskey Caucus
          June 7, 2012 - 6:51 pm | Permalink

          So you intend to mate with what species exactly?

          • Heaton
            June 7, 2012 - 7:25 pm | Permalink

            What with the Google and the Mac and such, I imagine I’ll build a NEW species to mate with.

    • Mrs Blades
      May 27, 2014 - 1:08 pm | Permalink

      Here is some hysterical text messages proving that men are also crazy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iuEOghSWic

  • Gale
    June 7, 2012 - 11:24 am | Permalink

    Does this mean you won’t judge me based on Marsailidh’s craziness? X

    • Heaton
      June 7, 2012 - 2:17 pm | Permalink

      That’s correct. I am judging your craziness and Marsailidh’s craziness as entirely unrelated psychotic episodes.

      • Gale
        June 11, 2012 - 11:05 am | Permalink

        Both reassuring and not at all, all in the same sentence…

  • July 2, 2012 - 2:01 pm | Permalink

    I think you caught my feminism while you were here. Or perhaps you picked it up in the CMB tea room.

    One of my fav quotes:

    “What men mean when they talk about their “crazy” ex-girlfriend is often that she was someone who cried a lot, or texted too often, or had an eating disorder, or wanted too much/too little sex, or generally felt anything beyond the realm of emotionally undemanding agreement. That does not make these women crazy. That makes those women human beings, who have flaws, and emotional weak spots. However, deciding that any behavior that he does not like must be insane– well, that does make a man a jerk.

    And when men do this on a regular basis, remember that, if you are a woman, you are not the exception. You are not so cool and fabulous and levelheaded that they will totally get where you are coming from when you show emotions other than “pleasant agreement.”

    When men say “most women are crazy, but not you, you’re so cool” the subtext is not, “I love you, be the mother to my children.” The subtext is “do not step out of line, here.” If you get close enough to the men who say things like this, eventually, you will do something that they do not find pleasant. They will decide you are crazy, because this is something they have already decided about women in general.”

    • Heaton
      July 2, 2012 - 4:41 pm | Permalink

      Actually, Amanda, you are exactly right– the cognitive deficiency described above, that men use one woman as a microcosm for the whole gender, is something I learned from you specifically.

      For which I thank you!

    • YupItsMe
      November 8, 2013 - 8:34 am | Permalink

      Totally agreed, Amanda! I find it dirty pool to use a woman’s real emotions & concerns against her; labeling her crazy just because she has a different perspective or different way of processing than you, a man. Call a woman this enough times, and dismiss her feelings enough times, & resentment builds, thus placing the relationship in dire straights. I don’t know why its so hard for men to say something like, “I hear what youre saying, babe, and even tho I don’t fully understand or agree, how you feel is important to me.” In most cases, women just want to be HEARD(not dismissed). Try it sometime, men. And realize too that just as men tend to group & judge us harshy, so too can women be very unfair to men.

  • RealTruth
    December 9, 2014 - 5:07 pm | Permalink

    Most of them nowadays are total idiots.

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