This is my ten minute set from the recent Pardon my Pundit standup comedy competition in Arlington, Virginia. The event was hosted by the Arlington Cinema & Draft House, whose owner intends to form us into a troupe of political satirists comparable to the Capital Steps. (Only presumably with less frequent resort to jazz hands.) Clips of myself and the other finalists will appear on a half hour special on Comedy Central this summer.
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A quick clarification: when I perform political routines, I like to lead in by asking my audience to raise their hand if they enjoy smoking pot. Then I immediately whip out a disposal camera and take their picture. So that’s the inexplicable burst of laughter you will hear at the beginning. (To see the effect, you can watch a three-minute YouTube clip below.)
My political outlook is more or less Libertarian. Libertarians are like Republicans who don’t care about gay marriage or most recreational drug use, or conversely, like Democrats who took at least minimal courses in Economics. The upshot to this comedically is that I don’t agree with either party on everything and thus feel at liberty to poke fun at everyone.
My eventual goal is to replace P. J. O’Rourke when he dies. Until then, I’m a much, much cheaper alternative to him in the Washington area. So if your club or organization would like someone to break the ice before an event, contact me.
My rates are obscenely negotiable.
Andrew Heaton is a writer and standup comedian in New York City. If this post made you laugh or think, kindly "like" it on Facebook.