The Eden Project

The Eden Project is like Al Gore colliding with 2001: Space Oddysey. Located in St. Austel, Cornwall, where some intrepid enviornmentalists decided to make something out of a gigantic crater rendered by mining operations in the countryside.

Now that crater, once a collosal divot of industrialization, is home to gardens which spiral down to meet two multi-domed biospheres at its base. One contains a Mediterranean enviornment, while the other has its own rain forest. Awesome. Giant, climate-controlled, vaulted bubbles.

The future.

Why do I like greenhouse environments so much? I think because the self-containment implies little micro-worlds of human control. “See this rainforest? Ours. We regulate it. Water and everything. This entire three acre cosmos belongs to homo sapiens.” It’s why I like aunt farms and sea monkeys. Why, someday, I will have a room full of bonsai trees: so that I can go to sleep knowing there is miniature forest growing in my conservatory.

Earlier this summer I day-dreamed about the OKC Botanical Gardens being a colony ship floating around in space. I lived on board with three friends, a robot and a talking dolphin. The appeal? Micro-world. Those of us who are so big-picture oriented we ceaselessly try to grasp the width and breadth of everything can actually breath deep in micro-worlds. Boundaries! At last!

If I somehow chance upon, say, twelve billion dollars, I’d like to build my own biodome project near Tulsa. Except that instead of a biome-specific domes, The Heaton Bubble will have habitats constructed entirely for specific animals. A monkey and sloth biome (which happens to have a rainforest), a penguin biome (which is also an ice-skating rink) and a kangaroo biome (which is actually just a dome with a bunch of trampolines and grass inside).

Can you imagine that? Kangaroos on trampolines? Also elephants wandering around outside.

How on earth have I not been clobbered with grant money yet?

Andrew Heaton is a writer and standup comedian in New York City. If this post made you laugh or think, kindly "like" it on Facebook.